










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1265 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,343 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1039 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1375 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 935 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 994 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $347,569 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Onex | 67% | 24 |
| #2 | BuffaloSucker | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Tod-E. | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | Johnywoo | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | shego | 54% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Tod-E. | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | Johnywoo | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | shego | 54% | 24 |
| #6 | KeleTatti | 47% | 36 |
| #7 | Moca | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shego | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | KeleTatti | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Onex | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Onex | 63 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | shego | 42 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | KeleTatti | 36 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | BuffaloSucker | 34 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tod-E. | 30 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tod-E. | +2.34 | 77 | 54 |
| #2 | BuffaloSucker | +2.31 | 68 | 59 |
| #3 | Donitsi | +2.25 | 76 | 58 |
| #4 | KeleTatti | -0.13 | 69 | 40 |
| #5 | Moca | -0.21 | 56 | 54 |





