








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1529 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3222 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,087 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1087 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1787 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1785 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1428 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,263,512 of utility $222 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 686 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tarmjuice | 59% | 49 |
| #2 | rymdi =DD | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | Partykatten | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | Skjei | 48% | 33 |
| #5 | qek | 48% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qek | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Tarmjuice | 6 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | rymdi =DD | 4 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | Partykatten | 3 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tarmjuice | 113 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | qek | 102 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Partykatten | 95 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | rymdi =DD | 87 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | Skjei | 80 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kawhi leonard from 3 | +2.85 | 82 | 57 |
| #2 | Tarmjuice | +1.87 | 82 | 57 |
| #3 | qek | -0.09 | 66 | 49 |
| #4 | rymdi =DD | -0.58 | 77 | 62 |
| #5 | Partykatten | -1.08 | 79 | 66 |





