








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
760 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,354 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 330 | 24% |
| Smokes | 639 | 47% |
| HE Grenades | 328 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 57 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $219,892 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Picolas | 59% | 27 |
| #2 | gzporta | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | jer (optimistic) | 44% | 79 |
| #4 | honu | 44% | 41 |
| #5 | SOUP HAVER | 37% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SOUP HAVER | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | honu | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Peet | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | jer (optimistic) | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Astral | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jer (optimistic) | 278 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | Astral | 88 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Picolas | 77 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | honu | 50 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | SOUP HAVER | 47 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jer (optimistic) | +3.75 | 73 | 79 |
| #2 | skillman | +2.18 | 75 | 48 |
| #3 | Picolas | +0.76 | 57 | 76 |
| #4 | Peet | -1.11 | 40 | 47 |
| #5 | SOUP HAVER | -1.15 | 58 | 46 |





