








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
589 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,388 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 661 | 28% |
| Smokes | 935 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 661 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 131 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $193,433 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aikuinen ihminen | 53% | 57 |
| #2 | onnika | 49% | 73 |
| #3 | vellikulho | 48% | 77 |
| #4 | <Pussy /> | 48% | 69 |
| #5 | TheKapoZ | 43% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aikuinen ihminen | 53% | 57 |
| #2 | onnika | 49% | 73 |
| #3 | vellikulho | 48% | 77 |
| #4 | <Pussy /> | 48% | 69 |
| #5 | TheKapoZ | 43% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vellikulho | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | <Pussy /> | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | onnika | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Aikuinen ihminen | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | <Pussy /> | 259 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | Aikuinen ihminen | 200 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | TheKapoZ | 186 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | onnika | 134 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | vellikulho | 100 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | onnika | +2.52 | 77 | 56 |
| #2 | <Pussy /> | +0.86 | 59 | 65 |
| #3 | Aikuinen ihminen | +0.61 | 74 | 54 |
| #4 | TheKapoZ | -0.37 | 53 | 69 |
| #5 | vellikulho | -1.73 | 50 | 60 |





