








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1254 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,522 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4968 | 47% |
| Smokes | 3031 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1795 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 728 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $181,153 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 120 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N3xus385i | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | Pwrnap | 40% | 42 |
| #3 | Olaf Scholz | 39% | 18 |
| #4 | domesios.de | 38% | 65 |
| #5 | Vamp God | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N3xus385i | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | Pwrnap | 40% | 42 |
| #3 | Olaf Scholz | 39% | 18 |
| #4 | domesios.de | 38% | 65 |
| #5 | Vamp God | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | domesios.de | 7 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Vamp God | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Pwrnap | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Olaf Scholz | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | N3xus385i | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | domesios.de | 163 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | Pwrnap | 63 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Vamp God | 36 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | N3xus385i | 32 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Olaf Scholz | 24 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vamp God | +4.27 | 83 | 64 |
| #2 | N3xus385i | +3.47 | 63 | 60 |
| #3 | domesios.de | +2.93 | 52 | 65 |
| #4 | Olaf Scholz | -0.51 | 47 | 42 |
| #5 | Become Lobster | -2.25 | 33 | 67 |





