








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
677 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,729 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 608 | 35% |
| Smokes | 471 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 363 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 287 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $156,913 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johann | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | Tyrone Tingleton | 48% | 21 |
| #3 | male | 43% | 65 |
| #4 | benseques fyeridius | 42% | 31 |
| #5 | Squilliam Fancyson | 41% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | male | 43% | 65 |
| #4 | benseques fyeridius | 42% | 31 |
| #5 | Squilliam Fancyson | 41% | 75 |
| #6 | MR WHITE | 33% | 9 |
| #7 | Bogimur Borislav | 29% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | male | 20 | 0.0160 |
| #2 | Squilliam Fancyson | 17 | 0.0119 |
| #3 | benseques fyeridius | 6 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | Bogimur Borislav | 4 | 0.0102 |
| #5 | MR WHITE | 4 | 0.0301 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squilliam Fancyson | 335 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #2 | male | 158 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Tyrone Tingleton | 53 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | benseques fyeridius | 41 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Bogimur Borislav | 39 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | male | +6.48 | 84 | 58 |
| #2 | Johann | +5.84 | 72 | 43 |
| #3 | MR WHITE | +4.76 | 79 | 57 |
| #4 | benseques fyeridius | -0.38 | 38 | 41 |
| #5 | Bogimur Borislav | -0.43 | 33 | 53 |





