








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 560 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 377 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4918 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,809 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7315 | 35% |
| Smokes | 6306 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4109 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3079 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $866,162 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TroOpEr | 56% | 190 |
| #2 | saucin | 56% | 192 |
| #3 | Jako9 | 55% | 309 |
| #4 | el GABO | 52% | 160 |
| #5 | 502 yang_ | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TroOpEr | 56% | 190 |
| #2 | saucin | 56% | 192 |
| #3 | Jako9 | 55% | 309 |
| #4 | el GABO | 52% | 160 |
| #5 | 502 yang_ | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jako9 | 39 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | saucin | 18 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | el GABO | 13 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | TroOpEr | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | 502 yang_ | 2 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jako9 | 1433 | 0.23 | 40 min |
| #2 | el GABO | 928 | 0.28 | 27 min |
| #3 | saucin | 712 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #4 | TroOpEr | 438 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #5 | 502 yang_ | 98 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RS | ♥ | +2.24 | 50 | 74 |
| #2 | Jako9 | +0.91 | 69 | 65 |
| #3 | saucin | +0.42 | 56 | 71 |
| #4 | 502 yang_ | -1.07 | 48 | 55 |
| #5 | el GABO | -1.33 | 36 | 62 |





