








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 690 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 361 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4965 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,562 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4614 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4758 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4046 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4144 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,072,020 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 551 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHAVE | 52% | 66 |
| #2 | 𝕂𝕚𝕟𝕘ℕ𝕦𝕘𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕤 | 49% | 55 |
| #3 | chico | 46% | 214 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHAVE | 52% | 66 |
| #2 | 𝕂𝕚𝕟𝕘ℕ𝕦𝕘𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕤 | 49% | 55 |
| #3 | chico | 46% | 214 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chico | 21 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | SHAVE | 8 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | 𝕂𝕚𝕟𝕘ℕ𝕦𝕘𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕤 | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chico | 531 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #2 | SHAVE | 279 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #3 | 𝕂𝕚𝕟𝕘ℕ𝕦𝕘𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕤 | 100 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chico | +1.43 | 74 | 59 |
| #2 | 𝕂𝕀𝕂𝕆 | +0.43 | 71 | 65 |
| #3 | 𝕂𝕚𝕟𝕘ℕ𝕦𝕘𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕤 | -1.24 | 53 | 54 |
| #4 | SHAVE | -2.40 | 50 | 65 |





