








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 914 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2864 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,289 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3146 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3695 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2827 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2621 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $862,669 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 509 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Com-Ced-3 | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | baru ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | Prime | 54% | 163 |
| #4 | Meerjungfraumann | 53% | 115 |
| #5 | J1m | 51% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Nick/Her | 49% | 65 |
| #7 | 𝙍𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙨𝙝 | 49% | 112 |
| #8 | Puddinggesicht | 48% | 31 |
| #9 | Homuno | 45% | 69 |
| #10 | Mike- | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nick/Her | 20 | 0.0161 |
| #2 | J1m | 16 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | Meerjungfraumann | 11 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | 𝙍𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙨𝙝 | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Puddinggesicht | 5 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prime | 309 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | J1m | 253 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Nick/Her | 135 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Meerjungfraumann | 134 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Homuno | 88 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baru ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ | +2.64 | 76 | 69 |
| #2 | meibei - 130417 | +2.09 | 79 | 70 |
| #3 | J1m | +1.84 | 80 | 54 |
| #4 | Puddinggesicht | +1.40 | 85 | 29 |
| #5 | Prime | +0.40 | 63 | 57 |





