








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 378 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 169 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2120 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,620 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2704 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2169 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2362 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2385 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $635,756 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 339 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nits | 65% | 26 |
| #2 | RaiZze | 60% | 65 |
| #3 | MムLIO | 58% | 71 |
| #4 | slaptix | 55% | 192 |
| #5 | TheAntiBiotic | 55% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | RaiZze | 60% | 65 |
| #3 | MムLIO | 58% | 71 |
| #4 | slaptix | 55% | 192 |
| #5 | TheAntiBiotic | 55% | 116 |
| #6 | Gulko | 53% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slaptix | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Nits | 6 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | TheAntiBiotic | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | MムLIO | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Gulko | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slaptix | 1079 | 0.26 | 31 min |
| #2 | TheAntiBiotic | 566 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #3 | MムLIO | 382 | 0.26 | 11 min |
| #4 | Gulko | 303 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | RaiZze | 215 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slaptix | +2.63 | 80 | 68 |
| #2 | Nits | +2.25 | 84 | 74 |
| #3 | DNK | +1.20 | 68 | 67 |
| #4 | MムLIO | -0.60 | 56 | 66 |
| #5 | RaiZze | -1.50 | 57 | 65 |





