








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 780 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1046 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8974 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,137 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6649 | 19% |
| Smokes | 9734 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 9785 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 8969 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,926,411 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 793 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sidekick Lady | 36% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sidekick Lady | 36% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sidekick Lady | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sidekick Lady | 47 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Philly | -1.41 | 38 | 55 |
| #2 | Sidekick Lady | -2.62 | 21 | 56 |





