








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1598 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,328 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1324 | 31% |
| Smokes | 922 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1353 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 729 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $597,711 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 114 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Dexelstar | 56% | 116 |
| #3 | Drake | 52% | 93 |
| #4 | GoodGuy | 50% | 115 |
| #5 | Bently | 45% | 11 |
| #6 | jc | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dexelstar | 10 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Drake | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | GoodGuy | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | jc | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dexelstar | 506 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #2 | GoodGuy | 477 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #3 | Drake | 307 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | jc | 47 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Bently | 15 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dexelstar | +4.53 | 90 | 71 |
| #2 | O Money | -0.46 | 79 | 54 |
| #3 | Drake | -0.68 | 62 | 43 |
| #4 | Bently | -2.36 | 63 | 57 |
| #5 | GoodGuy | -2.57 | 46 | 58 |





