








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 84 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 166 matches | ||
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5713 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,963 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3131 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2804 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2347 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2681 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $720,748 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | disjustin | 58% | 62 |
| #2 | yousef.frazier | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | King Celery Crunch | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | disjustin | 58% | 62 |
| #2 | yousef.frazier | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | King Celery Crunch | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | disjustin | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | yousef.frazier | 4 | 0.0084 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | disjustin | 178 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | King Celery Crunch | 128 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #3 | yousef.frazier | 88 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juiceboy | +4.67 | 82 | 60 |
| #2 | disjustin | +2.24 | 86 | 62 |
| #3 | yousef.frazier | +1.77 | 88 | 57 |
| #4 | King Celery Crunch | +1.71 | 79 | 67 |





