








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 853 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2666 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,449 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2870 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2705 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1784 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2090 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $840,800 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 416 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | santozi | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | Toke | 65% | 60 |
| #3 | Pude | 60% | 68 |
| #4 | LANO | 60% | 15 |
| #5 | Jaakkosan | 60% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | cioN ツ | 55% | 20 |
| #12 | Mise | 53% | 15 |
| #13 | aleksi | 52% | 23 |
| #14 | Ltd. | 51% | 41 |
| #15 | jappe | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mako ツ | 8 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | MONTTAANAN TONI :D | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Pude | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Toke | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | jappe | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pude | 325 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #2 | MONTTAANAN TONI :D | 275 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | mako ツ | 178 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | Jaakkosan | 121 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #5 | Toke | 117 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mise | +3.05 | 97 | 62 |
| #2 | Toke | +1.91 | 86 | 71 |
| #3 | Pude | +1.61 | 78 | 76 |
| #4 | mako ツ | +1.59 | 89 | 63 |
| #5 | LANO | +1.44 | 82 | 64 |





