










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 435 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
793 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,195 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 998 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1018 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 483 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 696 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $334,951 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herr Zock | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | KA1SEHR | 51% | 39 |
| #3 | Ein wildes Evoli⭕⃤ | 51% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herr Zock | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | KA1SEHR | 51% | 39 |
| #3 | Ein wildes Evoli⭕⃤ | 51% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ein wildes Evoli⭕⃤ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ein wildes Evoli⭕⃤ | 190 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | KA1SEHR | 79 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Herr Zock | 32 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KA1SEHR | +1.33 | 59 | 69 |
| #2 | MADA MADA | +0.66 | 69 | 60 |
| #3 | Herr Zock | +0.43 | 52 | 48 |
| #4 | Ein wildes Evoli⭕⃤ | -1.57 | 52 | 62 |





