








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 89 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
881 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,505 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 982 | 39% |
| Smokes | 692 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 308 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 523 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $205,143 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meow meow meoew meoew meow meow | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | Yujj | 54% | 39 |
| #3 | Lohis | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | Physio | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | XD | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meow meow meoew meoew meow meow | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | Yujj | 54% | 39 |
| #3 | Lohis | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | Physio | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | XD | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Physio | 2 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Meow meow meoew meoew meow meow | 2 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Yujj | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Lohis | 1 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yujj | 64 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #2 | Meow meow meoew meoew meow meow | 38 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | Lohis | 25 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #4 | Physio | 9 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | XD | 7 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WolfiieeeChan | +1.30 | 82 | 62 |
| #2 | Lohis | +0.92 | 95 | 49 |
| #3 | XD | +0.55 | 87 | 49 |
| #4 | Physio | +0.47 | 84 | 47 |
| #5 | Meow meow meoew meoew meow meow | +0.19 | 91 | 57 |





