








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1708 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,203 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3201 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1821 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2204 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 977 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $343,886 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GiveMeYourEggs | 49% | 140 |
| #2 | Ryebird | 49% | 166 |
| #3 | DaBaby | 47% | 116 |
| #4 | DraciR | 47% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GiveMeYourEggs | 49% | 140 |
| #2 | Ryebird | 49% | 166 |
| #3 | DaBaby | 47% | 116 |
| #4 | DraciR | 47% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DraciR | 14 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Ryebird | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | DaBaby | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | GiveMeYourEggs | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GiveMeYourEggs | 557 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #2 | DraciR | 443 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | DaBaby | 379 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #4 | Ryebird | 371 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dua derank | +1.69 | 62 | 71 |
| #2 | Ryebird | +1.04 | 73 | 58 |
| #3 | GiveMeYourEggs | +0.71 | 74 | 63 |
| #4 | DaBaby | -2.16 | 49 | 71 |
| #5 | DraciR | -3.00 | 39 | 68 |





