








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1661 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,908 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1348 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1548 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 268 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 744 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,084,819 of utility $236 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dolomerk on meth | 12 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | -brce- | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Obi-Wan Ken-Obi | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Freakbob Nopants | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Boop | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -brce- | +3.34 | 84 | 67 |
| #2 | dolomerk on meth | +1.03 | 67 | 62 |
| #3 | Arther Mergan | +0.94 | 66 | 53 |
| #4 | Boop | +0.04 | 56 | 64 |
| #5 | Freakbob Nopants | -1.80 | 44 | 52 |





