








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1366 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,375 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 522 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1559 | 46% |
| HE Grenades | 380 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 914 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $416,484 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Molly | 46% | 70 |
| #5 | Jordan | 44% | 147 |
| #6 | Sonik | 43% | 49 |
| #7 | Zach | 42% | 66 |
| #8 | ob | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fire Mage Lee | 37 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | Jordan | 34 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | RogersJJ | 18 | 0.0217 |
| #4 | Molly | 8 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Zach | 6 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jordan | 399 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | Zach | 117 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Molly | 84 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Fire Mage Lee | 82 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #5 | RogersJJ | 54 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jordan | +2.32 | 58 | 53 |
| #2 | Fire Mage Lee | +2.05 | 58 | 46 |
| #3 | BunnyBoy | +0.17 | 66 | 43 |
| #4 | RogersJJ | +0.13 | 42 | 37 |
| #5 | ob | -0.36 | 52 | 63 |





