








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 122 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2994 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,983 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1590 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1586 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 911 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 896 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $556,318 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ironbike tyson | 77% | 26 |
| #2 | Retarded Jack | 67% | 27 |
| #3 | LulleBulle | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | FettoFelix | 63% | 30 |
| #5 | Extra Fried o< | 57% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Irre | 30 | 0.0140 |
| #2 | Meatspinner | 13 | 0.0126 |
| #3 | Zylax | 12 | 0.0134 |
| #4 | Tuff_Blunt | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Retarded Jack | 7 | 0.0137 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Irre | 272 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | Extra Fried o< | 141 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Meatspinner | 121 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | FettoFelix | 115 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | Zylax | 100 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drilldo | +6.98 | 93 | 59 |
| #2 | Extra Fried o< | +1.06 | 71 | 52 |
| #3 | FettoFelix | +0.54 | 68 | 69 |
| #4 | LulleBulle | -0.93 | 69 | 52 |
| #5 | ironbike tyson | -2.19 | 79 | 51 |





