








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
357 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,249 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 382 | 31% |
| Smokes | 294 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 306 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 267 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $79,075 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baron Charles v. Sprayhausen II. | 1 | 0.0109 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H4rleym3ch4nic #derankservice | 28 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #2 | Baron Charles v. Sprayhausen II. | 24 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #3 | Baron Jerk zu Star | 20 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| #4 | Acapulco GmbH | 19 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tequilian | 15 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baron L-Capowned II. | +7.86 | 53 | 60 |
| #2 | Baron Quid PRO Quo II. | +6.65 | 83 | 70 |
| #3 | Baron Don Key II. | +5.30 | 53 | 71 |
| #4 | Baron Charles v. Sprayhausen II. | +3.31 | 37 | 69 |
| #5 | Baron Charles von Sprayhausen | +3.13 | 43 | 76 |





