








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
858 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,555 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 782 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1124 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 553 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 96 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $185,541 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glonk | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | ASHRz | 58% | 53 |
| #3 | Nasty | 57% | 46 |
| #4 | turbonuts | 46% | 63 |
| #5 | Crusty | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Nasty | 57% | 46 |
| #4 | turbonuts | 46% | 63 |
| #5 | Crusty | 38% | 8 |
| #6 | E-Male | 31% | 16 |
| #7 | happyinferno | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASHRz | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | turbonuts | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Nasty | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | E-Male | 2 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | Crusty | 1 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | turbonuts | 272 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | ASHRz | 153 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | E-Male | 67 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | Nasty | 39 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | happyinferno | 16 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | turbonuts | +2.21 | 74 | 56 |
| #2 | Nasty | +0.62 | 56 | 17 |
| #3 | Glonk | +0.55 | 69 | 55 |
| #4 | happyinferno | -0.10 | 61 | 64 |
| #5 | Steezus Christ | -0.20 | 46 | 54 |





