








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 10 matches | 2,340 | |
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
401 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 844 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 156 | 18% |
| Smokes | 258 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 177 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 253 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $166,548 of utility $262 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mattress Mack | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | MaiKi | csgotower.com | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | BECHO BEGRE | 100% | 3 |
| #4 | zamoRa | 100% | 9 |
| #5 | nilo | 75% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BECHO BEGRE | +6.70 | 52 | 45 |
| #2 | zamoRa | +6.30 | 73 | 53 |
| #3 | L00m1 | +4.00 | 93 | 53 |
| #4 | younglaflame | +2.80 | 93 | 39 |
| #5 | adamb | +1.75 | 82 | 25 |





