










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 251 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3394 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,873 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3732 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3789 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2444 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2908 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $489,215 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 187 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Madderose | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | Kronox | 61% | 28 |
| #3 | JULIO | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | Matsuki | 54% | 24 |
| #5 | MPNUEVE | 52% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Matsuki | 54% | 24 |
| #5 | MPNUEVE | 52% | 31 |
| #6 | CelleN ✰-999 | 48% | 21 |
| #7 | Tasky | 45% | 154 |
| #8 | Strony | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MPNUEVE | 8 | 0.0139 |
| #2 | Kronox | 5 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Tasky | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | CelleN ✰-999 | 3 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | Matsuki | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matsuki | 155 | 0.34 | 5 min |
| #2 | Tasky | 142 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | JULIO | 135 | 0.32 | 4 min |
| #4 | Kronox | 131 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #5 | MPNUEVE | 111 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MPNUEVE | +3.65 | 87 | 63 |
| #2 | CelleN ✰-999 | +2.69 | 75 | 57 |
| #3 | JUNIOR | +1.82 | 75 | 69 |
| #4 | Kronox | +0.67 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | JULIO | +0.55 | 74 | 68 |





