








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 792 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 414 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5568 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,944 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3935 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3686 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 6036 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 5287 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,845,576 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeso <3 🦈🦆 | 10 | 0.0146 |
| #2 | Rofi | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | ♥ Kolibri ♥ | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | mavors | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | vendrick | 3 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Kolibri ♥ | 237 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | Rofi | 186 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Mr. Banana | 104 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | t1mple | 100 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | mavors | 95 | 0.09 | 3 min |





