








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 122 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




110 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1661 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,813 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2000 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2244 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2109 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1460 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $444,981 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HULKY | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | 99kg حبة الفول السو | 54% | 135 |
| #3 | Biff | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | Richards Watterson | 46% | 37 |
| #5 | Draingang | 46% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 99kg حبة الفول السو | 54% | 135 |
| #3 | Biff | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | Richards Watterson | 46% | 37 |
| #5 | Draingang | 46% | 61 |
| #6 | c|:) | 43% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 99kg حبة الفول السو | 57 | 0.0215 |
| #2 | c|:) | 42 | 0.0405 |
| #3 | Richards Watterson | 20 | 0.0275 |
| #4 | Draingang | 11 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | HULKY | 11 | 0.0179 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 99kg حبة الفول السو | 385 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Draingang | 176 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | c|:) | 103 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Richards Watterson | 50 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Biff | 23 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HULKY | +4.43 | 93 | 33 |
| #2 | Richards Watterson | +3.86 | 72 | 55 |
| #3 | Biff | +2.17 | 82 | 11 |
| #4 | 99kg حبة الفول السو | +1.32 | 52 | 44 |
| #5 | jarts | +0.54 | 47 | 49 |





