








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1008 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,508 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2674 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2188 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1548 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2098 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $240,754 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RockyFIN | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | Fukmysushi | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | Hemteh | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | Beasty | 61% | 18 |
| #5 | Nokkamies | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nokkamies | 2 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Elisanliittyma | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | ProPottu | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Hiatala | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Havuton | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elisanliittyma | 80 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | Beasty | 61 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | ThNdz | 52 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #4 | Fukmysushi | 50 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | R42 (REISKA) | 46 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fukmysushi | +4.39 | 81 | 61 |
| #2 | Scorbutus | +3.20 | 78 | 62 |
| #3 | Hemteh | +1.24 | 21 | 48 |
| #4 | Tassi | +1.13 | 55 | 67 |
| #5 | sissiapina | +1.08 | 24 | 74 |





