








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 697 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3769 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,681 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3199 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2148 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1483 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1851 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $624,664 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 377 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pandoru | 100% | 12 |
| #2 | mango | 100% | 15 |
| #3 | disTroiT | 92% | 25 |
| #4 | Dork | 91% | 22 |
| #5 | moose | 91% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Lightning | 85% | 34 |
| #9 | FILTHY | 82% | 17 |
| #10 | MocirneH | 77% | 87 |
| #11 | jupii ❆ | 76% | 71 |
| #12 | m3gzz | 71% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dork | 19 | 0.0387 |
| #2 | MocirneH | 15 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | ihatejess | 15 | 0.0479 |
| #4 | jupii ❆ | 14 | 0.0106 |
| #5 | ? Sean CS.MONEY | 11 | 0.0319 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MocirneH | 195 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | jupii ❆ | 117 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | disTroiT | 86 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | ? Sean CS.MONEY | 76 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | Pandoru | 65 | 0.33 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FR0Z3N1NJA | +8.68 | 90 | 75 |
| #2 | mango | +6.98 | 96 | 80 |
| #3 | Lightning | +4.52 | 80 | 49 |
| #4 | disTroiT | +4.44 | 88 | 61 |
| #5 | Pandoru | +3.36 | 89 | 82 |





