








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 344 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1762 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,574 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 755 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1181 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1253 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1385 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $781,352 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 620 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Hänglem | 47% | 15 |
| #10 | jarraislove | 43% | 14 |
| #11 | johockE | 38% | 45 |
| #12 | vulGo | 33% | 9 |
| #13 | MartinTimell | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Danik | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | öliasson | 3 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | LasseKongo | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | johockE | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | MützeKatze | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MützeKatze | +3.08 | 54 | 81 |
| #2 | Danik | +2.67 | 80 | 63 |
| #3 | Din Facking Lallare | +0.99 | 80 | 63 |
| #4 | LasseKongo | +0.74 | 68 | 64 |
| #5 | öliasson | +0.72 | 46 | 76 |





