








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1423 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,238 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 884 | 21% |
| Smokes | 901 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1158 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1295 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $134,061 of utility $38 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | L1NG凌 | 58% | 71 |
| #6 | CH1Nz | 57% | 105 |
| #7 | 黃埔姜濤 (冇事) | 53% | 79 |
| #8 | donk | 50% | 56 |
| #9 | 周星星 | 48% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CH1Nz | 607 | 0.28 | 15 min |
| #2 | 周星星 | 528 | 0.29 | 10 min |
| #3 | 黃埔姜濤 (冇事) | 296 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | donk | 173 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | L1NG凌 | 111 | 0.07 | 3 min |





