








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 218 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2972 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,105 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2278 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1476 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2573 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 778 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $529,988 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 254 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Piewhat | 66% | 41 |
| #2 | Baguetteboy | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | womanhaver69 | 56% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Piewhat | 66% | 41 |
| #2 | Baguetteboy | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | womanhaver69 | 56% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | womanhaver69 | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Piewhat | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Baguetteboy | 2 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Piewhat | 258 | 0.31 | 7 min |
| #2 | womanhaver69 | 242 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | Baguetteboy | 29 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Piewhat | +2.38 | 59 | 76 |
| #2 | gozo | +2.25 | 84 | 53 |
| #3 | womanhaver69 | -0.53 | 75 | 59 |
| #4 | Baguetteboy | -0.83 | 61 | 49 |





