








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
518 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,074 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 123 | 11% |
| Smokes | 161 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 695 | 65% |
| Molotovs | 95 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $302,213 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Boobinator | 39% | 59 |
| #10 | aiz | 36% | 11 |
| #11 | vildmer | 35% | 17 |
| #12 | BIPPO | 33% | 6 |
| #13 | McFresh+ | 32% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magic Hudson | 10 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | Boobinator | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Flender *nicorette | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | McFresh+ | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Månky | 1 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magic Hudson | 76 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #2 | Boobinator | 60 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | Flender *nicorette | 50 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | vildmer | 46 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | McFresh+ | 44 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keps | +4.50 | 94 | 35 |
| #2 | Boobinator | +3.10 | 81 | 46 |
| #3 | vildmer | +1.76 | 74 | 61 |
| #4 | Rejsiee | +1.52 | 16 | 45 |
| #5 | Flender *nicorette | +1.29 | 62 | 46 |





