








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 267 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 403 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3004 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,956 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2904 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3833 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2608 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3611 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,232,797 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wolfey | 54% | 37 |
| #2 | Floppy | 51% | 192 |
| #3 | tina | 51% | 401 |
| #4 | d͓̽y͓̽n͓̽a͓̽s͓̽t͓̽y | 48% | 145 |
| #5 | Dug | 46% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wolfey | 54% | 37 |
| #2 | Floppy | 51% | 192 |
| #3 | tina | 51% | 401 |
| #4 | d͓̽y͓̽n͓̽a͓̽s͓̽t͓̽y | 48% | 145 |
| #5 | Dug | 46% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tina | 36 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | d͓̽y͓̽n͓̽a͓̽s͓̽t͓̽y | 16 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Floppy | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Dug | 6 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tina | 1435 | 0.17 | 32 min |
| #2 | Floppy | 484 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | d͓̽y͓̽n͓̽a͓̽s͓̽t͓̽y | 331 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Dug | 106 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Wolfey | 102 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tina | +3.01 | 77 | 55 |
| #2 | Dug | +2.78 | 56 | 60 |
| #3 | Wolfey | +1.94 | 85 | 59 |
| #4 | Kyle | -0.83 | 57 | 54 |
| #5 | d͓̽y͓̽n͓̽a͓̽s͓̽t͓̽y | -1.38 | 46 | 52 |





