








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 789 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 233 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2466 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,279 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 640 | 8% |
| Smokes | 3092 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1508 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3039 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $484,826 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 984 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schroter | 54% | 80 |
| #2 | Neitsyt Maria | 50% | 20 |
| #3 | törken | 48% | 27 |
| #4 | la creatura | 48% | 146 |
| #5 | noone | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schroter | 54% | 80 |
| #2 | Neitsyt Maria | 50% | 20 |
| #3 | törken | 48% | 27 |
| #4 | la creatura | 48% | 146 |
| #5 | noone | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | la creatura | 42 | 0.0139 |
| #2 | Schroter | 13 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | törken | 11 | 0.0202 |
| #4 | noone | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | la creatura | 123 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #2 | Schroter | 78 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | Neitsyt Maria | 34 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | törken | 23 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | noone | 10 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schroter | +2.16 | 68 | 47 |
| #2 | törken | +2.02 | 68 | 52 |
| #3 | Nickname | +0.91 | 54 | 39 |
| #4 | la creatura | -0.43 | 61 | 43 |
| #5 | noone | -2.37 | 30 | 28 |





