








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2229 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,301 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1791 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2351 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2685 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2474 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $571,685 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shwanto | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | Noscoped | 47% | 273 |
| #3 | Escalate | 46% | 242 |
| #4 | SpoogS | 37% | 43 |
| #5 | quimica | 33% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shwanto | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | Noscoped | 47% | 273 |
| #3 | Escalate | 46% | 242 |
| #4 | SpoogS | 37% | 43 |
| #5 | quimica | 33% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noscoped | 13 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Escalate | 12 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | quimica | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | SpoogS | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noscoped | 1383 | 0.26 | 38 min |
| #2 | Escalate | 1055 | 0.22 | 29 min |
| #3 | quimica | 134 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | SpoogS | 27 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | Shwanto | 23 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Escalate | +1.78 | 75 | 67 |
| #2 | Noscoped | +0.87 | 74 | 68 |
| #3 | Blunteffects | -0.25 | 62 | 58 |
| #4 | SpoogS | -1.59 | 74 | 37 |
| #5 | quimica | -5.84 | 28 | 38 |





