








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 177 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 462 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4208 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,655 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1167 | 9% |
| Smokes | 4617 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 3928 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2943 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,699,235 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blackwolf803 | 435 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #2 | Grisling | 299 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | coell | 283 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | LUCCCCCC | 217 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | Onkel Stuart | 198 | 0.09 | 6 min |





