








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1220 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 261 matches | ||
| Premier | 218 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 130 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




88 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10359 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,099 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14822 | 57% |
| Smokes | 4223 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 346 | 1% |
| Molotovs | 6708 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,189,898 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2031 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaeru | 44% | 185 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaeru | 44% | 185 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaeru | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaeru | 213 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | calm | +0.62 | 91 | 55 |
| #2 | Jaeru | -0.12 | 86 | 49 |





