








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 123 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
821 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,985 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 620 | 21% |
| Smokes | 712 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 789 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 864 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $139,616 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eetus | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | Styx | 100% | 4 |
| #3 | 1masi | 100% | 4 |
| #4 | s1 | 100% | 5 |
| #5 | discoturre=D | 100% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | aapow0w | 67% | 12 |
| #16 | Hurtti | 60% | 5 |
| #17 | HEADKNOCKER | 60% | 5 |
| #18 | Pegi | 25% | 4 |
| #19 | its a cool cat they said | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1 | 2 | 0.0263 |
| #2 | kurkuma | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | miila | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | aapow0w | 1 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | no a FIRE #näkeeketkäpärjää | 1 | 0.0103 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K1N3T3Y7S | 125 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | kurkuma | 88 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | aapow0w | 82 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #4 | miila | 51 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Hidden | 40 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1 | +6.75 | 89 | 32 |
| #2 | Omni | +3.87 | 78 | 70 |
| #3 | HEADKNOCKER | +3.74 | 60 | 83 |
| #4 | discoturre=D | +3.50 | 59 | 71 |
| #5 | K1N3T3Y7S | +3.31 | 91 | 60 |





