








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 224 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 149 matches | ||
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1981 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,944 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1808 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1885 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1070 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1181 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $458,980 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chief Inspector | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | elGrande | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | Maroc | 56% | 88 |
| #4 | violucy ♡ | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | black ben | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Maroc | 56% | 88 |
| #4 | violucy ♡ | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | black ben | 54% | 13 |
| #6 | MuPat | 50% | 90 |
| #7 | Johnson | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maroc | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | elGrande | 2 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MuPat | 143 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | Maroc | 69 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | black ben | 49 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | Johnson | 19 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | elGrande | 19 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elGrande | +4.32 | 88 | 65 |
| #2 | Jayden | +2.65 | 69 | 56 |
| #3 | black ben | +0.78 | 78 | 60 |
| #4 | Chief Inspector | -0.35 | 72 | 44 |
| #5 | MuPat | -1.55 | 52 | 54 |





