








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
256 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 326 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 40 | 12% |
| Smokes | 109 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 78 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 99 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $100,786 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ◢◤AVICII | 40% | 5 |
| #2 | Pozo ツ | 35% | 17 |
| #3 | Adoxxx | 35% | 20 |
| #4 | ChuPika | 35% | 23 |
| #5 | BlatKO Fleksarca | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | BlatKO Fleksarca | 33% | 15 |
| #6 | マーク | 25% | 12 |
| #7 | Nonesi | 0% | 2 |
| #8 | Woozy | 0% | 3 |
| #9 | s1mplekpasul | 0% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChuPika | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Adoxxx | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | マーク | 1 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | s1mplekpasul | 1 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adoxxx | 54 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | ChuPika | 34 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Pozo ツ | 31 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | BlatKO Fleksarca | 24 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | Woozy | 14 | 0.26 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChuPika | +3.35 | 87 | 55 |
| #2 | マーク | +0.78 | 91 | 63 |
| #3 | ◢◤AVICII | +0.47 | 28 | 58 |
| #4 | Woozy | +0.26 | 68 | 65 |
| #5 | Nonesi | -0.81 | 78 | 81 |





