








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 774 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 315 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4358 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,080 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2438 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3214 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 6491 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 3937 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,190,596 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2447 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KillerBee | 50% | 28 |
| #2 | AshlumB | 46% | 71 |
| #3 | Zackhx | 46% | 196 |
| #4 | Pr01fessional | 46% | 232 |
| #5 | Knockage | 45% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | AshlumB | 46% | 71 |
| #3 | Zackhx | 46% | 196 |
| #4 | Pr01fessional | 46% | 232 |
| #5 | Knockage | 45% | 65 |
| #6 | Lootbug | 42% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zackhx | 97 | 0.0243 |
| #2 | Lootbug | 27 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | Pr01fessional | 18 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | KillerBee | 7 | 0.0118 |
| #5 | Knockage | 5 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pr01fessional | 693 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #2 | Zackhx | 584 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | Lootbug | 187 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | KillerBee | 110 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | AshlumB | 74 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zackhx | +2.74 | 62 | 46 |
| #2 | shoobi | +1.85 | 39 | 56 |
| #3 | KillerBee | +1.80 | 55 | 55 |
| #4 | Lootbug | -0.97 | 33 | 63 |
| #5 | Pr01fessional | -1.96 | 16 | 59 |





