








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1578 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,647 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1907 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1860 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1612 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1268 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $392,840 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 165 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Viruzz | 53% | 49 |
| #2 | AWA | 43% | 44 |
| #3 | N I K O | 43% | 14 |
| #4 | Cookies!!!!!!! | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | The Negotiator | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | N I K O | 43% | 14 |
| #4 | Cookies!!!!!!! | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | The Negotiator | 37% | 35 |
| #6 | Fredzer0 | 36% | 22 |
| #7 | Johnson | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Viruzz | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Cookies!!!!!!! | 3 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | The Negotiator | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Fredzer0 | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | N I K O | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Viruzz | 187 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | AWA | 103 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Fredzer0 | 84 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | The Negotiator | 72 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Johnson | 36 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cookies!!!!!!! | +3.45 | 88 | 54 |
| #2 | Viruzz | +2.73 | 85 | 71 |
| #3 | The Negotiator | +1.04 | 67 | 50 |
| #4 | Fredzer0 | +0.35 | 68 | 68 |
| #5 | N I K O | -0.01 | 67 | 62 |





