










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
749 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,970 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 560 | 28% |
| Smokes | 461 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 482 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 467 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $553,044 of utility $217 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | raf | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | tashaaa <3 | 72% | 25 |
| #3 | Big Slime | 60% | 78 |
| #4 | bshaw | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | raf | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | tashaaa <3 | 72% | 25 |
| #3 | Big Slime | 60% | 78 |
| #4 | bshaw | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | raf | 5 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | Big Slime | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | tashaaa <3 | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Slime | 312 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | tashaaa <3 | 177 | 0.36 | 5 min |
| #3 | bshaw | 62 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | raf | 59 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tashaaa <3 | +6.15 | 76 | 83 |
| #2 | bshaw | +5.54 | 68 | 46 |
| #3 | Big Slime | +2.44 | 34 | 50 |
| #4 | raf | +1.29 | 47 | 51 |
| #5 | Wingers | -2.42 | 18 | 46 |





