








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2772 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,044 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3997 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2990 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3012 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2045 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $835,822 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 183 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Syhr | 64% | 36 |
| #2 | Tedito | 61% | 36 |
| #3 | Hojka | 53% | 64 |
| #4 | Bapman ♿ | 46% | 235 |
| #5 | :) | 46% | 279 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tedito | +1.56 | 65 | 75 |
| #2 | :) | +1.53 | 78 | 54 |
| #3 | Bapman ♿ | +1.14 | 73 | 56 |
| #4 | Hojka | +0.09 | 79 | 55 |
| #5 | DomR | -0.06 | 82 | 63 |





