








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 269 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3709 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,654 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1939 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2128 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2305 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2282 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $551,928 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 321 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | cayin | 74% | 23 |
| #6 | reazona | 69% | 71 |
| #7 | zazahiker | 68% | 129 |
| #8 | truls | 63% | 24 |
| #9 | amore | 61% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zazahiker | 14 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | amore | 8 | 0.0182 |
| #3 | reazona | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Reeezy | 5 | 0.0101 |
| #5 | Bravado | 2 | 0.0016 |





