








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 557 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1086 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10077 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,702 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8700 | 23% |
| Smokes | 12680 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 8228 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 8094 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,716,825 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 860 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheBreadmeister | 52% | 61 |
| #2 | cheZ | 52% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheBreadmeister | 52% | 61 |
| #2 | cheZ | 52% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheBreadmeister | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | cheZ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheBreadmeister | 336 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| #2 | cheZ | 63 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Choso | +0.91 | 69 | 64 |
| #2 | cheZ | +0.04 | 63 | 55 |
| #3 | TheBreadmeister | -1.41 | 57 | 76 |





