








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 54 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
890 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,866 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 750 | 40% |
| Smokes | 416 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 376 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 324 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $69,725 of utility $41 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Don Dada | 53% | 17 |
| #8 | kowacum | 50% | 18 |
| #9 | CashMagnum | 47% | 19 |
| #10 | mothertucker | 47% | 17 |
| #11 | jsn | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CashMagnum | 4 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | kowacum | 3 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | mothertucker | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Trevallo | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CashMagnum | 133 | 0.36 | 2 min |
| #2 | mothertucker | 85 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #3 | kowacum | 51 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Don Dada | 42 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Trevallo | 28 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Volkssnake | +6.38 | 71 | 53 |
| #2 | mothertucker | +2.31 | 74 | 69 |
| #3 | Sugondese | +2.12 | 57 | 49 |
| #4 | toast | +1.93 | 80 | 54 |
| #5 | Don Dada | +0.18 | 60 | 71 |





