








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 90 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1202 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,866 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1554 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1439 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1416 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1457 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $184,926 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Luizaoo | 51% | 49 |
| #8 | DoidoxD | 50% | 12 |
| #9 | drift king biridin | 50% | 20 |
| #10 | daNGOD!!! | 43% | 23 |
| #11 | Phabujamra | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luizaoo | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Mandaloriano | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Lehan Capica | 4 | 0.0258 |
| #4 | daNGOD!!! | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | PINTO | 2 | 0.0049 |





