








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 806 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 302 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5374 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,350 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5863 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4402 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3868 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4217 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $889,809 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 914 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vulcanic no talanted* | 49% | 70 |
| #2 | spectra1681 | 43% | 104 |
| #3 | Captain! | 37% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vulcanic no talanted* | 49% | 70 |
| #2 | spectra1681 | 43% | 104 |
| #3 | Captain! | 37% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vulcanic no talanted* | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | spectra1681 | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vulcanic no talanted* | 281 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | spectra1681 | 59 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | Captain! | 58 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | knight Life17 no talanted* | +1.89 | 82 | 67 |
| #2 | Captain! | -1.04 | 64 | 58 |
| #3 | Vulcanic no talanted* | -2.72 | 50 | 61 |
| #4 | spectra1681 | -3.48 | 36 | 34 |





