








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1267 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3178 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,525 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2645 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2044 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1942 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1894 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $517,481 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 271 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spitz.Faust | 72% | 25 |
| #2 | KungFuKenny | 61% | 80 |
| #3 | antonia666 | 57% | 206 |
| #4 | Liquid Metal Slime | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | 1year2many | 54% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | antonia666 | 17 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | 1year2many | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | KungFuKenny | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Templeton CM Chronic Ferrari III | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1year2many | 343 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | antonia666 | 272 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | KungFuKenny | 86 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Liquid Metal Slime | 53 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Spitz.Faust | 42 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kequinn | +7.37 | 88 | 72 |
| #2 | SirSmeli | +1.85 | 73 | 35 |
| #3 | antonia666 | +0.80 | 63 | 42 |
| #4 | Kermie | +0.72 | 76 | 49 |
| #5 | KungFuKenny | +0.42 | 52 | 49 |





